Cancer

Your cancer is back.

It was 2014 February 5th I was 38. I had a few lumps in my breast, and I have had cysts in the past. Getting a Mammogram was no worry. It was taking longer than normal, and they did an ultrasound, again no worries. I have been down that road before. I have very bumpy breast.

“You have breast cancer.” The radiologist came in and told me just like that. I remember thinking, what did he just say? Breast cancer? How? It took me a few minutes for my brain to comprehend what I was just told, breast cancer. The tears started to fill my eyes, I had not control. I was also by myself. I was told I have breast cancer and to expect a phone call in the next few days. And he walks out the door.

I had stage 3 breast cancer, and cancer metastasized into my lymph nodes. I had my left breast removed, chemo and radiation. I did not want cancer to define me. I did not want people to feel sorry for me, and I did not want to be pitied. I am me, I am not cancer. I did not change who I was. I am still here today. I also knew the chance of getting cancer in the next 5 years was 80 percent.

I have been having problems with my eyes. My right eye was swelling, and my left eyelid had bumps, and it was getting worse.  In two weeks my eyes were swelled and uncomfortable. It is like constant pressure. Take your finger and push on your eye. I am not in pain but uncomfortable

I made an appointment with my eye doctor. I was set up to see a specialist right away. I am losing vision in my right eye, and he said those lumps are not lumps, my eyelids are hardening. The eye doctor wanted to me have an MRI as soon as possible. I had the MRI last Thursday, and on Friday I was told those words you never want to hear.

My cancer is back in my eyes. The MRI showed no cancer in the brain, or behind the eyes, I did not know my doctor was checking for cancer in the brain. I had to make those horrid phone calls again. And it is rare cancer I could not answer all the questions my family asked. I apologized, I had to put my family through this again.

Now, its hurry up and wait. My doctors are meeting to get a plan ready. I am getting daily phone calls telling me what my doctors are doing. My next doctor I see is an oncologist. I do not know the date yet. In the beginning, it can be so frustrating.

I do not know if I will loss my eyesight. And I am terrified of losing my vision. If anyone reads this, please say a prayer. I do not plan on changing my blog or posting about my cancer. I do not want that for my Blog. I am going to try to keep posting every day on those articles that interest me. And try not to let cancer beat me or define me.

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “Cancer

  1. My prayers are with you… I think you have the will to fight, and I for one will continue to look forward to your posts, always good, insightful, honest, and speaks highly of your integrity. God Bless you and your work.

    Like

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